


Sitting On My Chest

by Sian265



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad dream stuff, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, Nightmares, Spoilers to 2x13, magnus to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-03 23:33:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15829197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sian265/pseuds/Sian265
Summary: Alexander is haunted, something or someone is tormenting him, can Magnus find answers before Alec wastes away before his eyes?Show canon up to 2.12 then AU story Plot. Set in-between 2.13 – 2.20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> #SaveShadowhunters as we enter week 12!

****

_Sitting On My Chest_

_Chapter One_

 

 

 

Alec cursed as he fumbled with the door and his weapons. He was covered, head to toe in demon ichor, and that included his weapons. After a full day of paperwork and making arrangements for his absence, Alec had escaped the office and gone on patrol with Jace, something he knew he would not get to do much longer. As the new head of the New York Institute, Alec’s life now would be filled with meetings and paperwork. He shut the door at Magnus’s carefully behind him, trying not to get his mess all over Magnus’s walls and doors. He heard a laugh and looked across at Magnus’s amused face.

 

He smiled a little sheepishly. “Sorry Magnus.” He gestured down to his bow and quiver. “Got a place I can sit these down without messing anything up?”

 

Magnus smiled and with a snap of his fingers and a whisk of magic, Alec and his weapons were now clean. Alec sat them down with a small smile of thanks and welcomed Magnus’s kiss hello. Magnus pulled back slowly and Alec loved how his eyes stayed closed for several seconds after they parted and how Magnus’s lips stayed curled in a little smile. Alec watched as those eyes slowly opened with a brief flash of gold before the glamour fell back into place. They had been lovers less than a month and Alec wondered if this flash of heat would dim or become even harder to ignore. He hoped it never dimmed.

 

“Have you eaten?” Magnus asked him and Alec nodded his head before laying it along Magnus’s shoulders. “Jace and I grabbed something out, just tired.”

 

Magnus ran a hand along Alec’s back and he felt the touch along his body. “Let’s go to bed,” he whispered. Magnus pulled back and took his hand, pulling Alec along.

 

Alec sat along the edge of the bed removing his boots. He had already lost his shirt as Magnus finished his nighttime routine. His head shot up at the wolf-whistle at the door. He grinned as Magnus’s gaze roamed up and down his bare chest. Alec gave a bark of laughter as Magnus winked at him and climbed up behind Alec on the bed. He was expecting to feel hands and lips but he was scolded instead.

 

“Alexander! You didn’t say you were injured.” Magnus was already healing him as Alec replied.

 

Alec looked over his shoulder. “I didn’t know I was, must have been just a scratch though.”

 

Magnus just hummed. Alec felt him crowd close against his back and shivered as Magnus blew gentle against his neck. He tilted his head to the side as Magnus began peppering his neck with little kisses. Alec laughed as he felt arms circle him and Magnus’s hands wandering. “What are you up to Magnus?” Alec asked but he could not fight off his grin.

 

Magnus paused. “Darling, if you don’t know then I am doing something wrong. I’m seducing you, of course.” He went back to nibbling along Alec’s neck.

 

Alec grinned and leaned back a little further into the Warlocks embrace. He could not stop the bark of laughter as he found himself flat on his back with a nude Magnus grinning down at him. With a snap of those magic fingers, Alec found himself naked and Magnus’s smile was pure sin. “You in a hurry then, I take it?” Alec asked, brow arched and a slight smile on his lips.

 

Magnus pouted just a tad. “You are leaving me for five long days; of course I am in a hurry. I’ve got to get my Shadowhunter fix before you depart.”

 

Alec ran his hands up Magnus’s back, his pulse jumping at all the smooth warm skin at his fingertips. “Do you intend for us to get any sleep tonight?” He asked as Magnus leaned in close. He heard the _nope_ whispered before Magnus brought their lips together. There was no hesitation, Magnus’s tongue immediately traced Alec’s lips and when he parted them, slid inside. Their tongues circled and teased almost lazily before Magnus pulled away and graced Alec’s neck with tiny licks and nibbles. Magnus spent some time at Alec’s neck both a fascination for him and a hot spot of Alec’s.

 

He brought his hands up to run along Magnus’s shoulders as the Warlock straddled him. Then he ran hands down those arms that also made Alec swallow hard and lose focus. Alec bit his lip as Magnus’s mouth left his neck and traveled across his chest, lips and teeth wrapping around a nipple before tugging it into hardness. He couldn’t prevent the moan that slipped out as Magnus ground his ass tighter against Alec’s cock. He had gotten hard as soon as Magnus climbed atop him. His hands roamed up and down Magnus’s back and arms. Alec arched up as Magnus delivered a particularly hard bite to his nipple. Magnus started to travel down Alec’s body, lips and tongue leaving wet trails that caused Alec to shiver. He groaned and tried to scrum away as Magnus’s tongue dipped into his belly button, but Magnus stopped him with a firm arm across Alec’s chest.

 

Alec spread his legs wider as Magnus nudged them apart. He felt his legs being elevated so that the back of his thighs rested on Magnus’s shoulders. Alec could not resist, he looked down into gold cat eyes as Magnus let his glamour go. Alec couldn’t look away, Magnus’s eyes bore into his as he blew hot moist air across the tip of Alec’s cock. He watched, like one watched a snake before it struck. The tip of Magnus’s tongue snaked out to lick across the head of Alec’s dick and he fell back onto the bed with a deep moan. He fisted his hands in the bedclothes as Magnus proceeded to treat his dick as if it was an ice cream cone, lick, lick, and then a whisper of hot air. Alec tried rising his hips, groaning, anything to get Magnus to take him fully into his mouth, but Magnus just ignored his efforts. The strong arm across his hips kept Alec pinned and at the mercy of Magnus’s wicked tongue.

 

Alec had enough. “Dammit Magnus, stop teasing and suck me.” He growled and even swore a little as Magnus laughed at him.

 

“Of course, darling, all you had to do was ask.” Magnus didn’t hurry; no he tightened his lips and slid down Alec’s cock so slow that Alec swore he could feel his blood being drawn slowly south. Magnus didn’t seem content to only go so slowly, no he had to hum as his lips met the base of Alec’s cock. The vibrations tore a groan from Alec’s throat and he arched up, chest and neck bowing off the bed. He could only lay there and bare it as Magnus took his sweet damn time, leaving Alec a sweating gasping mess. Up and down it went, Magnus only pausing as he reached the head to give it a lick before he went back down on Alec.

 

Finally, Alec had enough and his hands unclenched the bed sheets only to find purchase in Magnus’s hair. He knew he was tugging too roughly, but Alec couldn’t decide if he wanted to push Magnus’s head harder against him or pull him away by the hair. Alec cursed as he felt his arms and hands suddenly pinned back on the mattress. He could fee Magnus’s magic forcing his arms immobile. “Magnus,” Alec moaned.

 

Magnus pulled off with an obscene pop, his lips were swollen, red, and wet. Alec felt a thrill of fresh heat at the sight. Magnus shook his head no at him and Alec dropped his head back to the pillow with another curse. He fully knew when Magnus got in this mood there was no rushing him or changing his course, even if that course was driving Alec out of his ever-loving mind. All he could do was lay there and take it and for a man known for his iron control it was surprisingly liberating to relinquish control like this. Alec knew though he’d never admit it, but giving and having Magnus take control was sometimes just what Alec needed.

 

He shut his eyes and gave himself over to Magnus. The tight heat, wet tongue, and suction had him moaning without filter. Alec felt the familiar tightening of his stomach, the tensing of his thighs. It built so fast there was no controlling it, pulled from him by magic of a different kind. Alec came with a broken sob that was part Magnus’s name and part gibberish. Magnus’s tongue gently bathed his cock and Alec sank back into the mattress, wiped out, vision still white.

 

Alec cracked his eyes open as he felt Magnus crawling up his body, kisses over each area until Alec was looking into very smug gold cat eyes. Despite just having his wits sucked out through his cock, Alec felt himself flush. Magnus didn’t even pause just took Alec’s lips, his tongue engaging so that Alec could taste himself on Magnus’s tongue.

 

Magnus pulled away. “Hum Alexander, you always taste so good, why is that?”

 

Alec flushed further. “It’s all those fruity cocktails you keep making me.”  He grinned as Magnus gave a surprised snort of laughter. Magnus sat back upon his heels still in-between Alec’s legs. He groaned at the wicked smile that Magnus gave him.

 

“Not done with you yet, Shadowhunter.” And Alec knew he was not getting any sleep anytime soon.

~

He almost let the whine out as his alarm sounded the next morning, way too early considering the activities the night before. Only iron will kept him from moaning as Alec forced his very sore body out of the bed. He kept quiet though because well first, it was undignified for the Head of The New York Institute to whine that his ass hurt, and second because he didn’t want to disturb the peaceful Magnus. Though the way the Warlock slept, blissed out smile on his face, was almost enough for Alec to wake him on principle. It was Magnus’s damn fault he was sore and severely lacking in sleep. Alec smiled and gently pulled the comforter up over Magnus’s bare shoulders. All bluff, that’s what he had become, Alec grumbled to himself – quietly.

 

Alec took his first cup of coffee into the bathroom with him. Showering, shaving, and getting dressed didn’t take much time and his bags were already packed. He hadn’t wanted to have time this morning with Magnus before he had to leave. Alec sat down on the bed and leaned over to kiss one bare shoulder. Magnus stirred and blinked un-glamoured eyes at him, a soft smile crossing his face. “Morning,” Alec whispered. He grinned as Magnus wrapped steel-like arms around him and pulled him back into the bed. He kissed him gently before pulling back to see Magnus pouting at him. “What?” Alec asked.

 

“You’re leaving me.” Magnus grumbled, arms tightening around Alec.

 

Alec kissed Magnus again; he couldn’t resist sleep-softened, pouting Warlock it seemed. “Only for five days.” He answered.

 

Magnus groaned and finally let Alec go. Alec sat back as Magnus pulled himself upright. “One day is too long, let alone five, Alexander.” Magnus climbed from the bed and Alec let his eyes freely roam over all the golden skin on show.

 

Alec let out a sigh as Magnus slipped on a black silk robe, such a shame to hide such wonders he thought. “I know, but this is an opportunity that I can’t pass up. It’s the first sign the Clave have shown that they approve or even welcome my taking over as Head of the Institute.”

 

Magnus came back over to Alec, and Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus waist as the Warlock placed his hands on Alec’s shoulders. “I know,” Magnus said. “It’s just that we won’t be able to talk much, Alicante is so out of touch and not so welcoming to Downworlder Boyfriends.” Magnus sighed and pecked Alec on his forehead before he moved away. Alec got up and followed as Magnus moved towards the kitchen.

 

“I know and I am sorry about that, but you yourself said you would be busy with clients and other High Warlock duties.” Alec accepted the cup Magnus handed him and they moved to the balcony with their coffee. They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes as each enjoyed the fresh morning air and each others company. Finally, Alec stood. “I’ve got to go, Magnus. Come walk me out?”

 

Alec grabbed his bag and phone, pocketing the phone he sat his bag by the door and turned to Magnus. “If an emergency comes up you can reach me by fire message.”

 

Magnus smiled and wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist. “It will be fine, darling. This is important and a great opportunity for you. Don’t worry about anything here, go, learn, and get all those secret institute access codes.”

Alec laughed and tightly hugged Magnus, breathing in his scent, hoping to carry it with him for the next five days, Alec pulled back only enough to capture Magnus lips. They kissed sweetly, bodies pressed tightly together. Pulling back, Alec reached down and grabbed his bag.

 

“Ready?” Magnus asked and when Alec nodded, Magnus opened a portal.

 

Alec looked back before he stepped through, “Love you.” He said and heard Magnus replied _Love you to, Alexander_ , before the portal opened up in Idris.

 

TBC..

 

 


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec arrives in Idris and an old friend is their to guide him.

Sitting On My Chest

Chapter 2

 

 

Alec was very relieved to see Lydia waiting for him on the other side of the portal. She gave him a small smile of understanding and moved to walk beside him as they headed to the Consul’s chambers. “I thought you’d appreciate a friendly face,” she whispered as they passed many a curious eye.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered back. “I’m just glad they shortened this orientation to five days.” Alec shifted his garment bag on his shoulder as they encountered more of a crowd moving in the hallways of the Clave’s main headquarters. Alec saw the looks and then the quick whispers that followed him and Lydia, he could only imagine the gossip that was spreading. Just five minutes in Idris and he was already reminded why he didn’t like it.

 

Lydia motioned at a young Shadowhunter outside the Consul’s door. “Gregory here will take your bags to your room, Alec.”

 

He handed over his bags with a thank you and the younger man nodded before moving off. Alec took a deep breath and straightened his jacket, giving Lydia a nod when she raised a brow. “Ready,” he said. Their knock was quickly responded to and they entered. Jia Penhallow was an impressive person and Alec was very happy that their conversations dealt entirely with what she wanted him to accomplish over the next five days. Nothing was mentioned of his almost wedding, Magnus, or even Valentine. Once a schedule was ironed out Alec was dismissed to unpack and get settled in. He was expected at dinner that evening with the Consul, Inquisitor, and various other Clave officials. Alec was a little unsure why he was being afforded this kind of attention, but until he could get Lydia alone, he swallowed his curiosity.

 

Once outside the door, Alec let out a deep breath, unaware he had almost been holding it the entire time he was in the Consul’s office. Lydia laughed at him as she waved a hand indicating to move away from the door. Alec gave her a glare but that only had her laughing at him harder. Once she stopped laughing at him, Alec asked his questions. “You don’t have to get back to your work?”

 

“No,” Lydia shook her head, the Inquisitor gave me the time today to get you settled and go over the schedule.” Lydia noticed his look of shock. “I think you need to send your Parabatai a huge thank you.”

 

“Jace? Why?” Alec didn’t know what the angel was going on. He had pictured all kinds of scenarios of hostility when he stepped through the portal and so far he just saw a bunch of looks. Not what he’d been expecting at all and now Lydia was saying Jace had something to do with this?

 

Lydia shook her head. “I don’t know what he said or told his grandmother but it sure changed her tune regarding your leadership and I think she passed that on to the Consul.”

 

Alec smiled and sent a rush of gratitude and affection through his bond. He felt his brother’s answering emotions. Having his siblings believe in him was all Alec needed to straighten his shoulders and lift his head a little prouder. Alec only wished Magnus was here with him. Lydia must be reading his mind Alec thought at her next question.

 

“How is Magnus?” She smiled a little wider at the flush Alec showed at the Warlocks name.

 

He flashed her grin. “He’s great and said to say hello and to tell you he still owes you a visit and a tale or two.”

 

“Good,” she said. “I was worried about him. I heard about Azazel and the body swap.” Lydia stopped Alec with a hand on his arm. “I’m really glad he is okay, Alec.”

 

Alec’s face lost its smile. He looked down at Lydia. “Thanks, Lydia. It was horrible and it took him some time to recover.” Alec felt the guilt move back into his gut. He couldn’t, despite Magnus’s efforts, shake the feeling he let the Warlock down by not recognizing him even in Valentine’s body. Every time his mind recalled the agony rune being applied to Magnus/Valentine’s arm, Alec had to fight not to throw up.

 

Lydia nodded and moved forward again. She cleared her throat before pointing out the entry to the Silent Brothers’ rooms. “Tomorrow first thing you will meet with the Silent Brothers to go over assignments to your institute, protocols on when they are to be called in, and proper legal protocols.”

 

Alec nodded and made a mental note of the rooms location. Even though he had been to Alicante numerous times especially as a child, he had never memorized the different hallways and meeting spaces. Finally, after another hour walking around and discussing his schedule over the next five days, Lydia brought him to his assigned quarters. She handed him a file. “Here is the schedule, Alec. I’ll leave you here for now to rest a bit and get ready for dinner. I’ll come back to escort you if that is okay?” Lydia looked a little unsure as she asked him the last bit.

 

Alec reached out a patted her shoulder gently and took the file with his other hand. He smiled, “No Lydia that would be great. A friendly face is just what I need. I appreciate it.”

 

Lydia smiled. “Great, then get some rest and I will see you later, Alec.”

 

Alec sat on his bed, useless cell phone in hand. He really wished he could speak with Magnus. It was only day one and he was already feeling cutoff from everyone. Rubbing a hand across his face, Alec pushed aside feeling sorry for himself and got dressed for dinner, glad now in hindsight that he had put up with Izzy taking him shopping. The black suit had clean simple lines, enough to satisfy Alec’s more conservative taste, the only thing he compromised on was the emerald green dress shirt. He even decided to forgo the tie, leaving his shirt open at the neck.

 

Lydia looked lovely when she arrived to escort him to dinner. He complimented her and then a little devilishly remarked how they were going to cause quite a bit of gossip showing up together like this. Alec saw the look of almost shock on her face. “What?” He asked. “Do I have something on my face?”

 

Lydia looked back ahead. “No, not at all, I was just thinking how good Magnus is for you, Alec.”

 

Alec was going to ask for further clarification, but he really didn’t need to. He fully understood what Lydia was talking about. Yes, he had been a miserable bastard until Magnus showed him that being himself and honest with people even if those people didn’t like that honesty, was the best way to go. It freed Alec, allowed him to smile, even have fun, what Lydia was seeing for herself. So, he didn’t say anything, just gave her an almost absent smile, his thoughts full of Magnus.

 

Alec got through an insufferable cocktail hour; making small talk had never been a favorite of his. Oh he could do it very well, didn’t mean he liked it one damn bit. Dinner was a bit more interesting, at least he got to sit next to the Inquisitor, and because he could and she found it amusing, Alec spent the hour telling her all about Jace’s escapades growing up. She even stopped him on his way out and thanked him for sharing stories about her grandson. He knew he looked like an idiot standing there with his mouth open, but who knew she could smile!

Alec forced himself to change and crawl into the cold bed. Lying down, he shifted about trying to get comfortable. Strange place, plus strange bed, and no Magnus, Alec wasn’t sure how he was supposed to fall asleep. Despite that prediction, or maybe it was because of having to be ‘on’ all day, Alec had no trouble drifting off. The dream started off nice.

 

_Magnus and he lay facing each other in their bed. Alec had one leg hitched high over Magnus’s thigh. He moaned and pressed closer. Magnus was teasing him his arm was around Alec hips and his hand on Alec’s ass, his fingers playing with Alec’s hole, circling the rim before dipping in. Alec tried pressing his ass back to get those fingers deeper, but Magnus kept the thrust shallow, only going in to the knuckle before retreating to circle the rim, again and again. Finally, Alec had enough, he pushed Magnus so that the Warlock was flat on his back and Alec straddled him. He rose up and reached behind himself, grasping Magnus cock, he slowly lowered his body. Alec bit back a groan as the head breached him, he slid down until he was flush against Magnus’s groin. Alec heard a laugh. He frowned, opening his eyes he looked down, into the gaze of not Magnus, but Valentine._

Alec jerked awake with a shout. Throwing back the covers he scrambled from the bed. His hands shook; it took three tries for him to turn on the lights. He eyes looked wildly around the room, _by the angel_ what the hell was that! He was gasping for air and Alec put a hand against his heart, it was beating a mile a minute, and his chest hurt. Slowly, more spooked than he could remember ever being, Alec sat back down on the bed. _Just a nightmare, just a nightmare,_ was what he kept repeating to himself. He looked over at the clock, 2:30 in the morning. He knew he would not be able to go back to sleep. Alec frowned, his damn chest still hurt.

He barely waited for dawn before leaving his room. No one paid him any attention as he ran through the streets of Alicante. Arriving back to his room just as the capital started to wake up, Alec showered and dressed, he just hoped they had enough coffee in Idris.

 

TBC…

 

 

 

 

 


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec doesn't understand what is happening to him

Sitting On My Chest

Chapter 3

 

 

Alec pushed aside the nightmare and trudged through the day. He chalked it up to sleeping in a strange place and strange bed. Alec ignored the voice in his head that said maybe the nightmare was also linked to the guilt he still felt for not recognizing Magnus in Valentine’s body sooner. He shushed that voice because dealing with the Silent Brothers in less than a sound mental state was asking for trouble; he didn’t want anyone in his head analyzing him.

 

He wasn’t trying to be arrogant, but this whole meeting was a waste of his time. Alec knew all the Silent Brother protocols backwards and forwards. Maybe the Consul didn’t realize just who was running the institute while his parents rubbed shoulders in Idris. He had been doing most of this for years, but he kept quite and listened like expected. Finally, they let him break for lunch, and coffee one of them suggested, and Alec flushed. He knew he had not been completely successful in hiding his lack of sleep. Alec also felt run down, seemed a little excessive today for some reason. It wasn’t like he had not gone without sleep before, hell on some missions they were lucky to get to sleep at all, never mind the couple hours he had the night before.

 

Again Alec blamed it on Alicante. After leaving the Silent Brothers and having lunch alone, Alec next met with one the Clave’s historians. This proved a little more interesting for Alec, geek that he was, at least that’s what Izzy said. They discussed different regional branches located in some of the larger cities and countries. They spoke about any differences in the enclaves and conclaves of America. Before Alec knew it his time was up and parted with a genuine smile this time. Alec headed back to his room. He had a couple hours before dinner and wanted to try and take a brief nap, anything to make it through another Clave dinner.

He drew the curtains closed, leaving the room dark and cool. Stripping down to his briefs, Alec lay down. He quieted his mind, sending his thoughts back home and recalling happier memories. This method always worked to still Alec’s active mind, if he didn’t go through this routine, his brain raced not allowing him to settle or rest. Alec slipped into sleep with awareness.

 

_Alec hid his face as a blinding flash of light erupted from the control center. He covered his ears as cries of pain and horror rang out. The deathly silence that followed gave no comfort, and he raced towards the center of the institute. He swallowed the bile rising in his throat. The carnage in front of him the worst he had ever seen. Alec stared at Jace and Clary with disbelieving eyes. “You activated it,” he accused the red head. His mind spun as his Parabatai stuttered out that it was he who did so. Alec’s eyes flashed back to Clary, the yawning pit in his stomach getting ready to spin out of control. “Where’s Magnus, he wasn’t here was he?” Alec demanded, voice almost breaking. He barely heard her response that they had portaled in upstairs together, no his eyes followed the tortured gaze of his Parabatai. The broken “No,” slipped from his lips, he shut his eyes tightly, hoping that would hide whatever caused that look on Jace’s face. Alec’s body had a mind of its own and had him slowly turning, his eyes opening, drifting down. His mind slipped away as Alec’s eyes landed on a ringed hand and ever so agonizingly moved up that hand to the face._

**_Magnus!_** Alec cried out shooting straight up in the bed. He was gasping, eyes flying desperately around the room, unable to see any threat, but knowing it was there. Alec’s hands flew to his chest and he curled over in pain. One hand on his heart, while the other tried to wipe his eyes off so he could see, only realizing he had been crying when his hand came away wet. Alec moaned and tried to straighten out his body. By the angel, he didn’t know why his chest hurt. He felt like he took a shot in the ribs. He gritted his teeth and forced himself through sheer iron will to calm down and get out of the bed.

 

Alec stood shaken, body drenched in sweat. His every muscle quivered and it took everything in him to stand tall, and still. He looked at the clock. He’d only been asleep a half hour; it had felt like he had been trapped in that nightmare for hours, unable to escape. He moved slowly, like that of a hundred year old man to the door. He knew he had locked it, but the compulsion to check was there. Alec leaned his forehead against the cool wood, he was so tired. Angel, he really wanted to talk to, see Magnus. The nightmare still lingered and so did the taste of bile in his throat. Alec pushed away and headed for the shower, maybe he could wash away the lingering fragments of his dream.

 

Lydia once again escorted him to the dinner. She kept looking at him then away, frown on her face. Finally, before they stepped into the dinning room, Alec had enough. “What Lydia, I have something on my face?”

 

She didn’t answer directly; instead ask a question of her own, “You feeling alright, Alec?”

 

He thought about lying but he was just too damn exhausted. “Honestly, no I’m not. I haven’t been able to get much sleep since I got here.”

 

“I’m so sorry Alec. It’s just you look exhausted, pale, and truthfully, a little green. Would you like me to ask the healers for a sleeping aid?” Lydia asked.

 

Alec sighed and nodded his head to proceed into the room. “That would be great, thank you, Lydia.”

 

She patted his arm and they went to join their hosts. Alec fought hard thoughout the meal to not yawn in his hosts face. He knew he wasn’t succeeding in not zoning out as he saw the Consul fight a smile as his eyes glazed over again. The Inquisitor leaned over at one point and whispered to him. “I find these dinners incredible boring as well.” Alec was horrified and stammered out something he hoped was apologetic and offered an explanation. Jace’s grandmother laughed and waved away his words. Alec didn’t know how but he did manage to make it through the meal and followed the rest of the guests into the lounge for cocktails. Just as he was about to make his excuses, knowing alcohol was the last thing he needed in his state. Alec felt a tug on his sleeve. Lydia stood beside him and handed him a small vile of greenish colored liquid. At his look, she pressed it into his hand. “The healers sent this to help you sleep and the Consul told me to tell you to go to bed.” Lydia gave him a smile and a head nod in the direction of the rooms.

 

After thanking Lydia and his hosts, he headed to his room. It was a little early for bed, but all Alec wanted was to sleep. He took a healthy swallow of the potion and left his clothes where they fell. Alec moaned as he slid between fresh sheets. He turned onto his side, eyes landing on the empty pillow beside his head. He blinked, once, twice, and then his eyes closed.

 

_They were surrounded! The demons kept coming, one after the other, and the gaping dimension hole seemingly supplying a never-ending horde of the beast. He was long out of arrows and had given up higher ground to fight back-to-back with Jace. Izzy’s whip flashed in the distance, she was too far away from them! Alec felt the fight separate him, moving him away from his brother and sister. The harder he tried to stay with them, the greater the force that separated them. He first heard Izzy’s cry, then watched in horror as she disappeared under an assault of demons. He fought and fought, sword dripping black with demon blood. He swung around at Jace’s cry and he felt the agony go through their bond. Jace’s blond hair disappeared also in a sea of black. No matter how many he killed, Alec could not reach them!_

He wasn’t aware of the cries and whimpers that left his lips, of the flickering of his eye lids as he lay asleep and helpless. He drifted towards consciousness, but could not open his eyes. Alec fought and fought but couldn’t move his body, he was paralyzed! In his mind he was twisting and struggling to rejoin the waking, but upon the bed his body lay still and rigid. He gave a loud cry and jerked upright, eyes so wide open only the whites could be seen. His vision blackened, only to come back slowly in spots and shadows. Alec could only sit there and try to remember how to breathe.

 

He didn’t know how long he sat there, arms wrapped about himself, eyes lost somewhere else, unfocused. Finally Alec came back to himself enough to know where he was and what had happened and for the first time in a long while, he let himself break down and sob. _What was happening to him!_

_TBC_ _…_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a rough week for Shadowhunters fans, but as always we come back stronger than ever! #SaveShadowhunters


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightmares continue, will help arrive for Alec before its too late?

Sitting On My Chest

Chapter 4

 

 

 

Alec stood under the shower’s spray until he stopped shaking. He had looked at the clock once able to focus and he had only managed about an hours worth of sleep even with the Idris healers potion. He let the hot water beat against his chest and knew he would have to see a healer if this pain kept up, because it felt like he had broken ribs. Alec didn’t know how he was going to get through three more days before he could go home. These nightmares had to be tied to his missing home, and Magnus.

 

He dressed in loose-fitting clothes. Alec then activated his stamina rune and made his way along the deserted halls of the Consul building. First Alec wanted coffee and a lot of it, and then he figured he’d find a book and curl up until light enough to dress for the day’s meetings. He found the empty kitchens and after searching for a while managed a pot of coffee which he poured into a thermos way too fancy for his needs but he knew Magnus would have appreciated the fine china. He found a corner of the library with a chair that didn’t look like it would break. Sitting down his drink he moved to the shelves searching for something of interest. Alec let out a soft chuckle as he plucked _Concerning Warlocks_ from the shelf.  He wondered what this one had to say about his lover, most got almost everything wrong – including what Magnus’s Warlock mark was!

 

The book managed to hold his attention the rest of the night and as dawn started to peek Alec set it aside and rose, stretching his arms above his head he moaned at the pain. His whole body felt like he had been sparring for a week straight. He put the book back and returned his empty thermos to the kitchen. Every step he took felt like a mile, his arms and legs like jelly. He entered his room and dropped down onto the small sofa facing his bed, he still had a few hours before today’s session and meetings. Alec blinked, the bed seemed to be moving, he blinked again, or maybe it was he that was moving. His head fell back against the couch. He stared at the white ceiling, blinking again before his eyes slid shut and stayed shut.

 

_The paperwork on his desk seemed to be growing taller not getting smaller. Alec sighed at another email dinged across his screen, he never seemed to end. He sat alone in his office door closed and mood so grumpy that not even Jace dare disturb him, Alec really hated paperwork. The fiercest glare crossed his face as his office door was banged open. Alec stood up in shock as a host of Clave officials entered his office unannounced. Two of the guard came around and grabbed his arms, Alec struggled furiously. “What is the meaning of this!” he demanded. The Inquisitor stepped forward with a signed order in her hand. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you are here by charged with violating the moral code of the Shadowhunter society.”_

_“What?” Alec cried. The Inquisitor stepped closer, a snarl of disgust curled her lips. “You have been found guilty of moral crimes against the Clave and are to be immediately de-runed and banished from the society of Shadowhunters forever.” He didn’t get a chance to respond or fight, they marched him through the institute and everywhere Alec looked he saw Shadowhunters with looks of judgment and disgust on their faces. Alec heard their whispers, gay, consorting with DownWorlders, unnatural. He was pushed past Izzy, who was crying and Jace, who just looked at Alec with pity. He tried calling out to his parents but they just turned their backs. “Wait, please!” He screamed._

Alec’s body jerked on the couch, head titled unnaturally. He strained, fighting so hard to move, to wake up, but he couldn’t. Alec was paralyzed, the pressure on his chest forcing him back deep into the sofa. He wasn’t aware of the whimpers that left his lips or that his face was wet with tears. Alec didn’t hear the banging on the door or see the wood splinter as it was forced open. It was the slap across his face that allowed Alec to break free. His eyes shot open and he looked at Lydia wildly not immediately recognizing her. She called his name several times, but he couldn’t hear her only see its shape across her lips. Alec couldn’t move and each breath felt like a whip going across his chest. Lydia pulled a chair and sat in front of him, she stared into his eyes and he could see her focus on breathing, he watched as she inhaled and exhaled, slowly after several minutes his breathing matched hers.

 

Alec had just started to calm down when he jerked upright at the commotion outside his room, He heard his name yelled and in a voice that brought instant relief, Alec’s hoarse shout rang out. “Jace!” The guards at the door were shoved aside and Lydia quickly moved out of the way as Jace ran to Alec. He accepted the embrace gratefully; finally feeling like it was going to be ok, now that his Parabatai was there. Jace pulled back and looked at him, “Alec what is going on?” He could see the concern in Jace’s eyes as they ran over him looking he knew for injury, but he wouldn’t see it because it was deep inside Alec. “By the angel, Alec you look terrible and the pain I felt through our bond!”

 

Lydia spoke up before Alec could tell Jace anything. “Jace, he didn’t look this bad last night. He complained of not sleeping and nightmares so the healers gave him a sleeping potion.”

 

Jace turned and glared at Lydia, then swept a hand in Alec’s direction. “Well look at him, does he look ok to you!” His Parabatai looked like he was going to attack at any moment, Alec managed through sheer iron will to grab Jace’s sleeve.

 

“Jace,” he whispered. “It’s not Lydia’s fault.” Alec’s hand fell back down like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

 

Jace turned back to him and ran a hand through his hair. “Alec, we have to get you to help. You got no idea how bad you look or how bad it was through our mark.”

 

Lydia stood up, “I’ll call the healers.”

 

He and Jace said no at the same time. Alec looked at Lydia pleadingly. “Lydia, thank you, but I want Magnus. He can figure out what is going on faster and heal me quicker than any Idris healers.”

 

Jace patted his shoulder. “I was about to say the same thing, Brother. Besides, it only took an hour-long argument to keep Magnus from portaling in here himself.”

 

Alec groaned. “Magnus knows?”

 

Jace gave a shrug like of course stupid. “When I felt the pain at first I thought you must have overdone it exercising or training, but then the fatigue hit and I could feel you pulling energy through our bond. But then the pain got so bad and I kept getting flashes of you terrified and unable to move. So, of course, the first person I went to was Magnus, he finally agreed to let me come as long as I brought you to him.”

 

Alec looked at Lydia. “Can you clear this with the Consul and Inquisitor? I really just want to go home and let Magnus heal whatever this is.” Alec gritted his teeth and clenched every muscle in his body, trying to sit up and rise off the sofa. Finally, Jace had to assist him, grasping an arm he pulled Alec upright. He looked at Lydia as she gasped out his name in a shocked voice. He heard Jace let out a small cry as well. He looked back and forth between them. Lydia had a hand covering her mouth and Jace’s face bore a look of shock and pain.

 

“Oh Alec,” Lydia finally said. “You look like you have lost 15 to 20 pounds overnight!”

 

Alec looked down at himself; his clothes did appear to be hanging off him. He looked at Jace, without saying a word his Parabatai answered his question.

 

“You look bad, Alec. Something is seriously wrong. We have to get you to Magnus.” Jace took out his stele and quickly sent of a fire message. Only moments passed before a portal opened up.

 

Alec looked at Lydia as Jace helped him move towards the portal. “Go,” she said. “I will clear it here, just go to Magnus.” Alec nodded once before the portal swallowed him and Jace.

 

TBC…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been kind of a crappy day for the Shadow Family, but we fight on! #SaveShadowhunters


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus to the rescue! We also find out what or who attacked Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, taking your time to leave kudos and comments. We have so much love in this fandom every day its a joy to battle along side you.

Sitting On My Chest

Chapter 5

 

Stepping through the portal took what remained of Alec’s strength. He heard ‘Alexander’ cried out like it was in a deep well. Only Magnus grabbing him along with Jace kept Alec from falling to the floor. He felt himself laid on something soft and memorable. He could hear bits and pieces of the arguing going on above him. He heard Magnus’s anguish, something about how bad Alec looked, but then he settled because the gentle familiar blue magic was touching him, something that said home, and safety. Jace said something to Magnus about his chest and Alec could feel his shirt being gently removed.

 

Alec groaned and forced himself to open his eyes, to use everything in him to focus. He could make out Magnus and Jace staring down at his bare chest in horror. “W-what,” he croaked out.

 

Jace’s eyes didn’t leave Alec’s chest. He answered; Alec could hear the fear in his voice. “There are markings, Alec, impressions of something on your chest.”

 

Alec’s head slowly turned to look at Magnus who was glaring at the marks. “ _Ketindhan_ ,” he heard Magnus spit out.

 

“What?” Jace asked. “Magnus you know what this is?”

 

Magnus ran a hand across Alec’s forehead, pushing back pieces of unruly hair. “It means being pressed, or sleep paralysis, most always caused by Night Hags.”

 

Alec heard Jace yell. “What the hell is a Night Hag?”

 

Magnus ignored Jace’s question for a moment, instead he leaned down and kissed Alec tenderly on the lips. Pulling back Magnus looked at him. “Don’t worry darling, I’ll take care of you, its going to be ok.”

 

Alec sighed and nodded best he could. His eyes drifted close just a second. He jerked violently and opened his eyes as wide as he could.  Alec couldn’t help the pained cry that left his lips or the fear he knew was visible on his face. He couldn’t go to sleep!

 

Magnus sat beside him and soothed him as best he could, Alec stared at Magnus face with fierce determination, he wasn’t going to sleep.

 

 “It’s okay Alexander. I know what this is and I am going to make you something to sleep.”

 

Alec moaned, “No.” He tried to move, his arms, legs, but all he could do was thrash his head back and forth. “No,” he said again.

 

Magnus cupped his head between his hands stopping the moving and forced Alec to look at him. “It’s alright, love, I promise ok? I’m going to set a protective barrier around you and give you something to sleep and they won’t get through it, ok? I swear Alexander, I will keep them away.”

 

Alec took a shuddering breath. He felt Magnus wiping his face; he hadn’t realized he had been crying. He blinked his eyes at Magnus hoping that he understood Alec trusted him. Magnus’s eyes were damp and he gave Alec a smile despite the fear and anger Alec could see on the Warlock’s face. Alec knew it wasn’t directed at him, but at whom or whatever was attacking Alec. Once Magnus saw that he was calmer, he got up and pulled Jace to the side. Alec had completely forgotten his Parabatai was even in the room.

 

He drifted; Magnus and Jace’s words just background noise. Alec kept jerking himself back awake. Every time he drifted he could feel the nightmares calling to him, trying to pull him back under. Magnus needed to hurry; Alec wasn’t sure how long he could resist their pull. He didn’t know how many times he kept himself from falling under but the next thing he knew Cat was lifting his head and holding something against his lips. “Drink, Alec,” she instructed. He drank.

 

Before sleep took him completely Alec felt magic settle over him, surround him, warm, comforting, the kind of magic that would keep the monster away. He slept.

Alec didn’t dream.

~

It was so quiet when he awoke. Alec’s eyes drifted around the room, the sun hitting his face causing him to squint. His eyes drifted, the spot next to him was empty, but had been slept in. Alec heard approaching footsteps, his eyes landed on the bedroom door but almost absently, he felt disconnected. Magnus filled the doorway, the Warlocks face breaking into a smile as he saw Alec’s open eyes. Alec smiled back, automatically. He watched as Magnus approached his side of the bed. He sat beside him and slowly raised a hand to rest on the side of Alec’s face.

 

“Hello love,” Magnus said softly before bending down and placing a kiss on Alec’s forehead.

 

Alec blinked. He swallowed, a groan slipping out at the dryness of his mouth and throat.

 

Magnus twirled his fingers and carefully brought the glass of water to Alec’s lips. “Careful, drink slowly Alexander.”

 

Alec nodded after taking several small sips. Magnus sat the glass on the nightstand. “How long was I out?” Alec asked.

 

“36 hours, you slept right through all the excitement, which is probably a good thing.” Magnus brought the glass back to Alec’s lips and he drank gratefully.

 

Alec carefully sat the glass back down himself this time and bracing his arms, slowly sat up, leaning his head back against the headboard. “What happened?” Alec reached for one of Magnus’s hands and pulled him a little closer.

 

Magnus raised their clasped hands and placed a kiss across Alec’s knuckles. “I will explain it all, but first why don’t we see about getting you up, clean, and perhaps some food?”

 

Alec flushed as his stomach let out a growl of agreement at Magnus’s suggestion. He nodded his consent and Magnus took both of his hands and carefully pulled him into an upright seated position. Next Alec moved his legs to the floor. Magnus stood up and took both of his hands and helped Alec carefully stand upright. He swayed for a second before Magnus wrapped a firm arm around his waist. “Why do I feel so damn weak?” He moaned.

 

“The Ketindhan had sucked a lot of your essence – energy, Alexander. It’s going to take some time for you to rebuild your strength.”

 

Alec turned his head towards Magnus. “That word, you said it before. What is it?”

 

Magnus started slowly moving him towards the bathroom. “After shower and food, Alexander. Then you may have your answers, okay?”

 

Alec just nodded and let Magnus lead him to the shower. It was a testament to how little energy Alec had, he stood docile while Magnus bathed him. Usually all it took was the words, Magnus and shower for Alec to perk right up, but now he just stood, swaying a little still as his body adjusted to being upright. He couldn’t even muster up enough energy to be embarrassed as Magnus dried him off and helped him dress. It wasn’t until he had been sat down on the balcony, a blanket tucked around him that he took hold of Magnus’s arm as he moved away from Alec towards the kitchen. Magnus looked down at him and Alec gently pulled him down until their lips could meet. He placed a soft kiss on Magnus’s lips and pulled away to whisper, “Thank you.”

 

Magnus’s smile was the most beautiful thing Alec had ever witnessed. He got that special smile and a “Always,” before Magnus continued on his quest to take care of Alec.

 

He managed a little of the soup and bread Magnus brought him, reminding him that his stomach couldn’t handle much right away. Alec could not stop drinking the water though; it was like his body had been through a week-long drought. Magnus only reminded him to sip slowly but let him fill his glass again and again. Once he had enough and felt more like himself, Alec turned to Magnus. “What happened to me, Magnus?”

 

“Barbetos, is what happened darling.” Magnus replied.

 

Alec searched his memory, he had never heard of a Barbetos. “What or who is that?”

 

Magnus patted his hand. “Barbetos, is an insignificant little bastard Duke of Hell. Who got his feelings hurt evidently when we vanquished his master Azazel.”

 

“Huh?” Was the best Alec could come up with, and Magnus just laughed at him.

 

“When you were starched right before Idris, remember that?” Alec nodded and Magnus continued. “Well that allowed Barbetos to send his little minions, the Night Hags after you. That attack was all planned so that he could exact some vengeances. See the Night Hags feed on nightmares until their victim literally dies from bad dreams.”

 

Alec shivered, he had no trouble believing that, not after the nightmares he experienced. He gave Magnus a questioning look. “Well how did you free me and defeat this Duke?”

 

Magnus held up his forefinger and thumb with a little space between them. “We had this much trouble, after all, Barbetos is no Prince of Hell.”

 

Alec laughed and Magnus’s smile grew at hearing it. Alec swatted Magnus’s hands. “Tell me,” he demanded growling a little at Magnus’s showing off.

 

Magnus sighed and put a serious expression on his face, even if it was fake, Alec appreciated it. “Well darling, I did have a little help. Jace and Cat both assisted. We first magically cleaned your cut, and then we poured a nasty potion down you to protect you from the Night Hags. Next I summoned Barbetos and Jace kindly killed him.” Magnus threw up his hands like ta-da!

 

Alec could only shake his head at the magical Warlock seated next to him, thankful everyday that he got to love and be loved by this wonderful being. “Thank you, Magnus, for once again saving my life,” Alec stared into those golden eyes and poured all his love and gratitude into his own, hoping Magnus could see even a fraction of his gratefulness and devotion.

 

Magnus winked at him and leaned over for a deeper kiss than they had shared so far. “For you darling, Alexander, always.”

 

The End…thanks so much for reading!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to vote in the PCAS! As also with much hope #SaveShadowhunters


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